Saturday, 27 June 2015

15 super male model selfies to show you who to do it - DD Sarcastic

15 super male model selfies to show you who to do it - DD Sarcastic

Today we are looking at 15 male models taking selfies showing you how to do it in style. this is for the ladies....or not.

15. if you are andre hamann and you are just waking up, a voluptuous full tattoed selfie will start the day just perfect. cute, soft puppy eyes, love is all around you.

14. if you are broderick hunter and are driving and do not know your directions, just take a selfie, look innocent and just check your GPS dam it.

13. if you are David Gandy, show us you have a girlfriend and you both are coming from a french movie, and your rating will go through the roof.

12. if you are edward wilding make sure you take a selfie after going to the toilet, as before your smile might not be the same. at least now you are relaxed for the ladies to see you.

11. if you are great neff, show us you love milk, i mean really love the bottle and stuff. nothing more voluptous that kissing the milk. you should also kiss the spoon and the cereal box for the same dramatic effect.

10. if you are johannes hubel, old style hat and dark glasses will....ahhh. OMG this video starts to be so gaay I need to go watch some girls with no clothes to restore the balance of the universe. os some violence and shite.

9 . if you are John Kortajarena, you could be waking up with no clue, about everything, No clue in general , so take a selfie to make sure you are you.

8. if you are like this guy, i did not get his name, and you have abs, make sure you shave under arm, it is OK, I promise, it will not interfere with your manhood. pinky promise...i swear

7. if you are Marlon TX showing up with a baby will not help you with the female population, you will lose ratings. Do I have to teach you that? seriously. loose the baby, now.

6. if you are mathew Noszka make sure your camera doe not go too low, otherwise we will see more than abs and pecs, we might actually be disappointed. I challenge you to do it, have you got the guts?

5. if you are miles macmillan and you are a little off, having honey on your chin is not good weird or quirky. it is bad nerdy, and I mean I am not impressed at all. you got it wrong this time. try again!

4. if you are Noah Mills and you show me a juice bottle, what do I need to take from this. I guess you are drinking juice, right. UNBELIEVABLE. Juice OMG, I have never seen it.

3. if you are river Viiperi and you are in a car, this gangsta skateboading pic is pretty lame. I will let this one slide this time, but next time, you are toast.

2. if you are teriyaki papa, you must be having some teriyaki in a bottle just in case people doe not get your name clearly. this bottle is blue so I am confused. by the way, someone stole your rock form your ring...have you noticed?

1. if you are tobias Sorensen, do not take selfie with other gorgeous guys, as you will loose some public. not sure the name of the fellow with the pecs, but that is only thing i see in this picture. I am totally ignoring you.

question for next time, do you think this video is beautiful or gaay as I am feeling awkward doing it. so much male gorgeousness, I am questioning myself a little bit.

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

20 plastic surgery gone wrong - sarcastic

20 plastic surgery gone wrong - sarcastic

today we are going to look at 20  plastic surgery gone wrong and we are going to be sarcastic, like that is really needed. after seeing this, sarcasm is already included without me talking. stop eating right now.

20. Donatella versace should be about beauty, not ugliness. if this is a better version of a women, than I am a gorgeous alien. i think she was trying to get a part in a horror movie or something

19. Michaela Romanini, was actually beautiful until she decided that is enough. let' put some sexy roughness in the face, maybe you can reject man easier. job well done. if i see this face i want to wrestle, not kiss. perhaps some cage fighting.

18. Amanda lepor was born a man and turned into a women. The american model, is trying to become some sort of a cartoon character, creepy as is. Apparently she signs, but i say she scares people more.

17. we have seen boob jobs large and round, and small but this one is beating all of them. i have not many comments other they look anything else but as boobies

16. i am not sure what to believe here. perhaps she had breast implants before dehydration, as that is really scary stuff. At least the guy is happy to share his pic on Facebook.

15. this guy used to be a guy some time ago. until he lost the touch with reality and become a Cher copy. his name is Peter Burns and he is old and stuff. I think he loved Cher a while ago. let forget about them as they are like 100 years ago.

14. she is Jackie Stallone. and she is silvio, silvestro, slyvyoi..or whatever,  the old man used to be Rambo and kill armies and shite with a knife and a pair of scissors. like mother like son as he got some surgeries too, but not good enough to make it today.

13. this chick apparently played in a comedy a long time ago when i was like 3, saved by the bell. now she looks much better, no wonder she go no more roles to play. gorgeous

12. ugly before, ugly after what is the point least some change, please.

11. Jocelyn Wildenstein tries to become a cat for her ex. I say this is the best way to win the heart of anyone who dumps you. If I dump my girlfriend I want her to turn into a spongebob. that is gotta be a challenge

10. igor and grichka bogdanov, twins and both with the same desire to look like cartoons. identical twins, identical idiots.

9. some people are obsessed with lips. this girl has lost the plot and wants to become a sucker for sinks. if she kisses you, your face is gone.

8. if you look really careful, and pay all the attention in the world, you will notice there is something wrong with her face. THE LIPS dam it. this is from the series lets suck stuff. one question. do you think she know BJ?

7. not sure what this is , but it is from the WTF collection. maybe she thinks she is, but I disagree. now I will have nightmares for a week cause I cannot unseen things.

6. plastic surgery? i guess not , probably brain surgery. not that either when there is no brian at all. empty head surgery maybe.

5. lesley vogel is her name, and smiling weird is her game. a mirror would probably stop it.

4. now this is right cruel. why would you do man boobs to yourself. there is no bet in this world that will justify this hall of shame, shame shame.

3. lips lips lisp again again again. but this beats all of them. i cannot imagine how you can use your lips like that. the others for sucking, but this one, perhaps to cover your chin from rain maybe?

2. this gorgeous creature is something that might still be one of the previous characters in this video but i am not sure who as I am stunned by the beauty of it.

1. this is a Korean women who decided to take the matter into her now hands and inject cooking oil into her face as doctors would refuse to operate her after hundreds of surgeries. i say well done girl, jaba the hutt from star wars is a eye candy in comparison to you.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

10 mythical creatures they say could exist I say no no no, impossible

10 mythical creatures that might exist OR NOT

today we are looking at 10 mythical creatures 100 you tubers are trying to convince you they might exist, but I will demonstrate they are not and why.

10. the werewolf is a creature that is a scary half wolf and half human. so if you walk one night on the street, a werewolf will jump from the bush, bite you, inject you with some kind of virus and you become a werewolf yourself, feeding with blood, and fighting vampires. The legends are old and some people might believe in their existence, even today, as documented clearly in the movie twilight, but stay calm, they cannot be real as it is exhausting to be aggressive all the time, attack humans and eat blood.
eating only blood is a low fibre diet so it won;t be long until you get constipated, hence the aggressive behaviour. There are no records of digestive disorders hospital check ins, so there are no werewolves.

that is low calorie diet, and it won't be long until you will end up is hospital with serious dietary issues. guess what. there is no records in any hospital to check in constipated werewolf in desperate need of some fibre. And also Jake the vampire, chases his human chick that keeps rejecting wonder he will not reproduce, but also destroys the myth of werewolves being scary and stuff.

9. chupacabra or the goat sucker is a creatures that was allegedly reported to attack sheep and drink their blood in Central and South America. Apparently in March 1995 in Puerto Rico, the incredible large amount of 8 sheep were discovered dead, with 3 punctures in their chest and no blood. Few months later, several other reports have been made,  not very far from the first incidents.  The initial report was done by  women Madelyne Tolentino, who described the creature just like the beast in the movie Species, which she just happened to see few days before. I wonder if that is a coincidence. no physical proofs of this animal have ever been found, but people are suckers for horror stories.
if you are looking at this picture, and you believe it, you are an idiot.

now there we go

8. the centaur is half man half horse and they were a species living somewhere close to Greece. the legend appeared probably due the nice looking man riding horses in Greece a long time ago, and there is something gay about it. Centaurs are mostly man, but let's be honest there are also some female centauresses as well. it makes you wonder, how did they reproduce, like horses, or like people. the greek sculpture you see right now, it is a greek hero beating the heel out of centaur. this is so gay. i cannot take my eyes out of it. last question before I go, these centaurs would eat grass, or people like food, mcdonalds and stuff?

7. Mermaids are half fish half gorgeous women with big boobs and sings well. why not male mermaid? well, I will tell you. the legend was invented by sailors after months at sea, with no women around, they would shag anything, including a fish. they have these halucinations of a gorgeous babe singing on a rock and make they loose their minds and break the boat. this is how you justify it to your boss for breaking property back then.
anyway, half fish half chick with boobs. question is, would a mermaid lay eggs' or give birth. I say the eggs scenarios is better as there are no bottom lady parts, but that makes you think, why boobies, as they defy the purpose. Geez, it is so confusing. how do you sleep with this thing?

6. dragons spitting fire are scary creatures that come in various shapes, and sizes, and sometime with multiple heads. What they do, they scare you off and spit fire. now let's think for a second. If an animal would spit fire, that means it can create energy for heating, cooking and melting metal to do objects. I reckon if humans can fly to the moon, there will be people able to negotiate with the dragon some sort of agreement, as we fed them whatever, and they spit on water tanks, so we do not burn fuel any longer and this way we can all become friends and save the planet.
don't you agree?

5. the vampires are my favourite creatures, as they are sexy, live at night, sleep in coffins, very uncomfortable if you ask me, and they come to suck your blood so you will become a vampire too. why, because they can have all the sex in the world and no guilt factor. apparently vampires have orgies and there is no such thing as boyfriend girlfriend experience. and for that reason, I would love to be bitten. no worries, no work, no taxes, nothing. an eternity of entertainment.
 if you want to become a vampire, just google it and you will find detailed instructions. if you go ahead, and are successful, please send me a note, as I would like to join you and live forever. could be so much fun.

4. the unicorn is a horse with a horn. it is believed that it can be captures only by a virgin. it si pretty much one of the lamest mythical creatures as it does not do anything special or spectacular. it is a horse with a horn. big deal. why going so much trouble to train a virgin to capture a horse like any other horses, just a horn on the head, that beats me.
I actually i think i know the answer. for the meat. apparently you can google it it and you can buy it in a can. if you have ever tasted it, can you let me know? i am curious how many idiots are out there.

3. the goat man is a creature like a human , but  with fur and horns like a goat. It might be a resurrection of the ancient greek Minotaur, the guy who beat the crap out of Hercules in that time. there is an "real official report" in 1957, that the goat man was seen by eye witnesses in Prince George County, Virginia USA. After a wave of sightings, the beast decided to lay low for few years to avoid the press and came back in force in 1962 and killed 12 children and 2 adults who happened  to go hiking in his surroundings. it must have been the rage accumulated in isolation. no shite. seriously. the unidentified survivors of the attack, said he was like the devil.

2. bigfoot or the american human ape that does not want to be discovered is a creature so mysterious, that is about 3 meters high, and guess what, it deals have very large feet. apparently there were sightings of this creaturem and even captured on film, and people still wonder why is it so shy that does not want to meet us. I say it is bollock, from 2 reasons. if  big foot would be real, it would have all the reasons to come forward. Imagine how much attention, and free food would it get. also I still do not understand what is so big fuss about it. a large ape with large feet, so what? we have humans with large body parts that are far more impressive than that. check out mu video on humans with large body parts and i am sure you will be impressed.

1. The liger is a creature discovered and invented by Napoleon Dynamite, my father. it is pretty much my favourite animal and it is like a lion and tiger mixed and bred for its magic skills. there are still mysteries surrounding this creature and research says that it is possible to cross a lion and a tiger. i do not believe that, but for the respect of my father, Napoleon, I would like to keep this creature alive and real in our minds and hearts.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

21 funniest animal selfies ever

21 funniest animal selfies ever

today we are looking at funniest and cutes animal selfies. some of them are not technically selfies, but who are you to judge?

21. kiss me because i am so cute I could die. seriously kiss kiss kiss

20. hey, what about me? I am here too. look at me look at me look at me

19. hm, twerking is for idiots, but what am I doing here?

18. ahh... watcha' looking at? what so funny? am i funny? I am not laughing.

17. wassap.....who is this guy? black is not a colour, he does not know....idiot

16. oooooohhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhhhhh, i got ice on my balls. ohhhh...ohhhhh

15. did you get the picture.? did you? punk? common hurry up until she puts some clothes on.

14. relax dude, we are all friends touching

13. o yeah...these are my  body guards...if you want to get to me, they will eat your eyes...yeahhh. come and get me.

12. hey bro...can we get through...we all got papers and need to get through. do you get me?

11. huh...what? we are just playing here...what's wrong? did you see anything. I didn't did you?

10. om my good, food, oh my good food, oh my good food, oh my good food. stop it, you are killing me

9. as I was saying, i walk and I walk and the road never ends. my name is forrest gump

8. yeah, yeah, really does

7. well, this is my, these are my friends, I don't know that guy at the back. he must be new. he is kinda weird and I am concerned

6. did you steal my girlfriend? did you punk? if i find out you did, you are dead.

5. what? i have not done anything, you tallied me hands up, and that is what i am doing. what's wrong with you.

4. yo, bro...this is for my girl in the hood. smile you idiot, the bitches are watching

3. yuck...your icecream taste like dirt, yuck....go away. disgusting

2. what's up dude? who are you looking for? my bodies are not here. these penguins are boring.

1. hey you...hey you with the camera...did you see my girlfriend? are you a stalker?

Saturday, 13 June 2015

20 weirdest but funniest gifs and clips ever

20 weirdest but funniest gifs and clips ever

 today we are going to look at 20 of the funniest gifs on the internet. some people have too much time on their hands and combined with computer skills this is a show you do not want to miss

 20. it is a well known fact that Japan has the weirdest games in the world. running and swimming on a chair like that, is probably one of them. i still don't get what this guy is trying to do. is this about speed or levitation? regardless he looks like a nut.

 19. there are lots of weird people in the world, and some of them too much time on their hand. a this is not funny, but creepy. you do not need to watch horror movies, just this one will suffice. ludicrous, preposterous insane.

 18. in the same category with the previous clip, sucking up ice-cream with your eyes is certainly something I would expect. this is not entertaining, or funny, or interesting, not even creepy. stay close as better clips are coming

 17.Waving with your legs is much more spectacular than your hands. too bad you cannot do this at a real game, otherwise it would have been awesome.

 16. there is something mysterious about throwing hotdogs at a girl face. when she simulates feelings, that is enough to get the male population intrigued, just like few more clips in todays video. watch to the end and you might get a bit excited.

 15. having a treadmill in your bedroom can trigger some pretty stupid moments. your brother is chatting and you can dance your way on the floor.

 14.this is what I am talking about. the love for pizza combined with great computer skills to create a never ending masterpiece. well done whoever

 13. when you have a slippery corridor, and a bunch of mattress this is what you can do to keep your evenings occupied. is this a school or a hospital? you tell me

 12. A good looking girl can shake anything, including an innocent sunscreen, to get the male population excited. if you are also a little bit clumsy, people will just love you. period. i can watch this all day without getting bored.

 11. you cannot get past this jump without asking yourself what hurts most: the fall or stupidity. I am just being mean, it could happen to anyone.

 10. there are a lot of people in this world skilled enough to invent new dance moves and I believe this could be one of them. too bad this did catch on like gangnam style. maybe after this video going viral.

 9. If you would be that girl, i would know that this will happen for sure. Absolutely. You gotta admire the try though, as why would you try to jump like that with so much water under. a guaranteed wet afternoon. comments on this one. anyone loves watching this and I need you to tell me which muscles does she exercise?

 7. all the nerds of the world should be untied in celebration. the snail is turning into a transformer and takes off. pretty wild. they should do a movie about it and call the snail Sheldon.

 6. I believe ostrich was arrogant and elephant was the calm guy in the corner snapping off after too many bad jokes about his trunk being sexual and stuff. well done jumbo, shake that guy good to tech him a lesson. If you have a long neck, do not get into debates on the street

 5. well, we all saw the dogs having breakfast, this is just another dog with opinions about stuff. i got to admire the confidence.

 4.this is a cute one and for that reason I don't like it. the cat just wants a hug. dam cats, always blackmailing people for affection.

 3. this is just a pretty girl playing with the circle. One of those things, you can watch all day long. just relax and enjoy the movement. would that make me a perv?

 2. Licking a snake head by 2 girls in the same time made me speechless. disgusting, ludicrous, preposterous but dangerous, mysterious, voluptuous. i still think this is stupid despite the there is always something interesting about 2 girls touching their tongues.

 1. this is a short clip from an artistic contemporary dance routine. If you believe this makes sense, it does not. just some twisted minds in the dance academy trying to be interesting and shocking, knowing that you cannot ask for your money back.

 question for next time, what do you think a girl dancing with a microphone in her mouth means?

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

20 worst man selfies that will make you laugh

20 worst man selfies that will make you laugh

today we are looking at 20 of the worst selfies that will make you laugh. not the worst, but the only 20 as man do not take as many selfies as women and girls, and it was bloody difficult to find them

20. when you do your hair style with dynamite, than you deserve to take a selfie to show off in the mirror. question is how can you get through the door like that

19. father has no idea about what a selfie is and looks clueless but enthusiastic when the son takes a snap. lame, lame lame.

18. Stylish guy, double moustache, on face and chest , he feels to immortalise the moment with a quick selfie in the mirror. as this is what you do, when you are proud of your achievement. some pubic hair style would have been appropriate as well.

17. ha ha ha very funny guy, using potato chips. quack quack quack , donald duck. Just lame

16. we all know the happy guy he can see a fire at the back. the entire worlds is full of admiration for his enthusiasm to catch a quick selfie with a drama in the background. happy days, make sure next time you get a tsunami

15. when you are a father, you are allowed to have silly season every day. it is OK. People will understand.

14.  Why in the hell would you:
A.allowing someone to take a selfie while you take a dumb?
b would you enter a room when someone is taking a dump for a quick selfie in the first place?
both of them have a problem. i am just saying

13. this guy wants to take a selfie holding the moon with his fingers.  how romantic. too the lack of talent gets recorded for the world to see. lame

12. this is reminding me on the freezer section of the supermarket when the nipples go hard. I think this is her trying to copy this guy, not the other way around. what do you think?

11. well, gotta respect the guy. he is excited but the achievement hiding his weenie, and staging the shot so you can see his face. not bad boy!

10. if you know photoshop, you can achieve better outcomes. may not look like it, but if you analyse the picture, you can see some funny smudging around legs. good idea though...

9. i am pretty sire this guy did not see his own ass, and that is because his face is innocent. believe me, i know people. and he is sincere. his buttock is also nice. this came out wrong.

8. hey grandpa, you kids shoed you how to take a selfie, just sit still and press the dam button. stop messing around with your lame ass ancient blackberry. get an iPhone to be as cool as me.

7. how does this guy do it. where is the camera? why are the tiles on top of his face fade into a senseless pattern. I got it. photoshop, busted.

6. there was a trend a while ago taking snaps with cats on your head. i could not see any sense in ot. someone to do a lame bucket challenge, but did not make it. lame lame lame, again again again

5. you are either a robber coming in, or a robber going out, but snapping a quick selfie before you go though the window. that is passion, I gotta admit it.

4. get the fat cat into the snap, and you will be rewarded with attention. cat not happy, he does not look happy, i am not happy either? but who is?

3. this nerd is trying to be either cool, or he is playing some sort of cartoon character, but this is as gay as it gets. but even for a gay, this is lame...i don't know, I am just saying.

2. when you are fat and have beard, this is not funny, but creepy, weird and scary. not only i do not want to be your friend, but you see this guy? run lola run

1. maybe not technically a selfie, but i always wanted to see a fish unicorn on the carpet. not only to see one, but to be one. I think this guy is brilliant to actually come up with something as stupid as that.

question for next time, what is this animal in fact, as certainly not an unicorn and i know they are fish with horns out there.

Friday, 5 June 2015

15 photos that cannot be explained - EXPOSED

Today we are looking at 15 mysterious photos that allegedly cannot be explained, so they say,
but I am going to give you an explanation to make them feel like idiots, not seeing the truth, or they just tried to confuse you.

15 the time traveller is claimed to be a proof the time travel exists, just because this guy looks different from the rest of the crowd. people say this is from the future as the image was taken in 1941 and the guy's camera and outfit are not inline with that time. reckon it is just bollocks as according to this mentality, lady gaga is from the year 3000.

14. god I love celebrity pics that do not make sense. so, this is the Hobbity guy, no idea about his name, pointing at Orlando bloom belly button. was this with intention or just a funny occurrence? I guess we need to watch another 48 hours of lord of the rings to get closer to the answer. gosh, i feel asleep 3 times during each episode.

13. now, it is a well known fact that japan can come up with some nasty shite inventions, video games, tv shows and real life scenarios. Some of them do not make any sense whatsoever including this picture which I cannot understand any of it.

12. i am so confused about this image as I am speechles not even to throw a joke or any comment of any sort because there is nothing that makes sense here. i think it is the cat's fault

11. the wild party is ending with a victim being taken by an ambulance and 2 big crying rabbits being shocked. despite the image makes perfect sense, i just wanted to mention that this is a scary world full on unexplainable behaviours to the normal people like you and me, not sure about you, but pretty sure about me.

10. the giant tadpole or hook island sea monster. In 1964 a french photographer was in Australia in a small boat with some friends, when they notice this creature looking like a serpent around 80 feet or 24 meters long. the creature has never been seen again, how convenient and as it makes difficult to challenge the lies when in fact we are looking at an algae of some sort. When you claim bull shite like that, there will be plenty of idiots who will believe you as there are no other reasons, not to, but you grow I'm popularity

9. the hanging ghost has shown allegedly in this happy family picture after developing the film. it might scare some of you but no, do not be scared. if I would be a ghost , why should i come from the ceiling  and be upside down? would you be scarier coming through a mirror or the TV screen? the kids seem happy because they cannot see it. So as a ghost you must be an idiot, because why would you put on a show if nobody can see you. this must be a retarded ghost that needs treatment as this makes no sense, hence this is a bloody fake to get the attention of the naive and weak minded.

8. check out this so called mysterious picture. the father took a picture of his daughter, develops the film and claims after that the astronaut was not there. as he remembers clearly. even Kodak says so. why not, free advertising as people consume bull shite.
if this is a true story, you should believe that this monster was chasing me as well...that's me in the picture, the little boy, not the dragon. and I claim it as well. how can you say I am not right? i have got like a youtube channel to prove it and kodak says that this is a true image, not modified.

7. this scary image is a claim that a child mummy is blinking many years after death to scare the crap out of us. maybe you but not me. this is a girl who died in 1920 in Sicily and her body was preserved into a glass coffin. people claim she wants to blink or something, but that is just like, Jesus showing himself on pizza or toast. many people want to make something out of nothing as other would believe anything.

6. the brown lady ghost is a photograph dating back from 1936 from a photographer named, it does not matter as he is dead in the ground. He reckons he captured a ghost like many others trying to scare me. Let me tell you something: half of my grandpa photos from early 1900, have shapes, and ghosts and stuff. why, because long exposure times, but I am getting too technical and i might loose your interest. fake fake fake, all you need to know.

5. another ghost again, but this time the ghost of Freddy Jackson a mechanic in the air force.the picture was taken in 1913 but 2 days after Freddie dies in work accident. So the ghost wanted to be in this picture, so what? this is in fact old time photoshop as people wanted to show into group pictures after they died. it as common practice, but hey let's exploit some naivety today.
would give me a break, please?
on this method we should reconsider all bad selfies in facebook being mysterious and stuff and run away.the devil sits in your smartphone camera.

4. now this is a bugger, check this out. there is an extra hand in the picture. the guy at the back with no short seems to have 2 hands. is it a mystery? is it a ghost? OMG, LOL, we are going to die. there is a hand we cannot explain. and there are so many mysteries in the world. Yet another one? where does the world end?

3.  this guys claims to be abducted by aliens and went through a lot of weird experiments, hence the funny looking wounds on his belly. the event occurred in 1967 when people used to go nuts about space stories, and alien shite. he came up with a very detailed story about his experience, with flying saucers, strange sounds, and voices.
Do you know how I know this is a fake? the burn pattern is not vertical or horizontal. If I would be an alien I would do a much better job leaving untidy traces on people's bellies.

2. now this is more like Doctor dynamite spirit. these 2 girls are hugging each other and there is something like a baby under looking up her but. not sure how and why, but the mystery remains until to this day when we are still talking about ghosts.

1. now this is what I am talking about. there is a strange guy looking at the camera with a miniature sewing machine in his hands with police and a bus accident in the background it looks like a wedding photo with a guy taking the opportunity to have a bus in the background. the miniature sewing machine is troubling me though.
this is the stuff that should concern you and me as this is scary. the lack of sense, and why, the how, the where and the who, remain mysteries of the wonderful world.
and that is what keeps my up at night.

question for next time, why do you believe a ghost would appear in a photo after the fact, and not  during the time it is taken.

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

15 super duper toilets for taking a dump in style

15 super duper toilets for taking a dump in style

today we are looking at 15 super toilets for the people wishing to spend more time on the crapper and have a super experience ever day in style. holy crap of a crapper

15. the pimped out geek toilet contains a full entertainment system, DVD player, laptop, playstation and a beer tap. so you can spend as much time as you want until you but dries out completely so you need to shower. 

14. if you know you cannot hold it for more than 5 minutes ion your way to school, supermarket or work, this is the perfect vehicle for you. not sure how you flush and how much water it uses, probably not a lot

13. if you really love you time on the crapper, you need to invest it accordingly. this is a 75 thousand dollars swarowsky crystal toilet, too bad it does not come with any goodies, such as refrigerator, WI FI or integrated plasma TV to run fashion channel 24/7

12. if you are not comfortable touching yourself or just have your both hands occupied with a drink and your phone, you can choose this robot toilet with hands to help you open, aim and do the deed. sure that would be nice but I am concerned about the shaking bit.

11. if you love your wife so much you can take a dump together discussing the latest news, gossip and Facebook status updates. Probably you should eat the same thing as well, as the smells need to be synchronised for a pleasant experience

10. just in case you miss your crap so much and sorry to let it go, you can spend few more minutes by looking how it takes off. you will have the time to say good bye.

9. if you travel a lot and do trust other people toilets, just take your own in your suitcase and you will be safe. you can use it whenever you go never worry about the time and place. even at the cinema. 

8. if you are poor and do not have enough space, you can take a dump and shower in the same time. if you think about it, it is not such a bad idea. the problem is how do you wipe your butt with paper, or this comes with a wet solution. i don't know

7. what you see now it is not a joke but a safety system if you are selfish and do not want to share your toilet. you press a button and all those spikes will retract. pretty smart right?
wrong. imagine that you are drunk and mess up with the system you will be sorry for sure.

6. if you go in a restaurant in Taiwan you do not need to bother to leave your seat. you eat, drink, crap, eat drink, crap...this is really good for business. i know this is just for show, but it is like eating tasty shite. it defeats the entire purpose. 

5. people loving to ski would love this as well. I have no idea because I don't sky, they should do another toilet with Facebook all over it and I would deb happy to use it.

4. the ice toilet is for the ice people. not sure about you but there is no better feeling to stick your balls onto the ice for a pleasant and unique experience. probably there is some flushing problem they did not think through, but hey, who am I to complain.

3. if you are in love, you can take your partner for a hot sensual hot bath and after that a successful dump together as your bodies will never be apart. you can even hold hands and smile to each other, and farts will not be awkward any more.

2. a glass floor is a guarantee you will have a successful crapping experience, and ti is good, because the toilet is there, so you can train for later when you will take a lift with no floor either. 

1. i always wanted to see myself, how do I look during my constipated moments, from all possible angles. it is an image I want to remember. on a toilet you can also happy moments so that is perfect for both situations. a good dump and a good selfie and the Facebook will be on fire.

question for next time, do you think you have what it takes to take a dump with someone else in the same room ?