Tuesday, 4 April 2017

proof that Jesus is your grandpa

Hi ether folks

in todays video i wanted to demonstrate that Jesus is my grandpa though a very simple math exercise.

first of all why?

well one thing i hate in the world is to be taken as a fool. i watched the move the "da vinci code" with Tom hanks, who's is a smart history teacher and he solves some historical mysteries asn stuff, though complicated investigations. complicated plot, boring movie, fell asleep 4 times, went to bathroom twice, but i digress.

there was a french cute chick in the movie as all i can remember, the movie demonstrated that she was a direct descendant of Jesus.
that stuck to my head for a while,  i thought about it, and thought about it, and i came with the brilliant idea to do some basic math to see if that is freaking possible.

so, i have 2 parents, each parents has his own 2 parents, so i have 4 grandparents, and 8 grand grand parents, 16 grand grand grand parents, and 32 grand, grand grand grand parents - four times.
Assuming that people have kids on average in their thirties, i would say each 100 years we are talking about 3 generations

so, just stating the obvious for each 100 year, i have 2x2x2 ancestors
for 200 years I would have 2x2x2x2x2x2 (6 times) = 64 grand parents
we move on, for 500 years I would have 2x2x2.... 15 times which is 64x64x= 32,768
guess what,
for 1000 years I have 32,768x32,768 = 1,073,741,824

Jesus was 2000 years ago, so I would have a pretty impressive sum of few thousands of billion, even my calculator cannot tell me how many.

now assuming that in the time of jesus there were probably 100 million people on the planet (you can check with historians if this is an estimate, the amount of my ancestors exceeds the entire population on the planet several times. and that is making me pretty confident to say that in the time of jesus there is 99.9 probability that everyone alive was my grandpa.

is there anything wrong with this rationale...you will say hey idiot,  it does not work that way. in my father's village, they did not go out, they multiplied within themselves, and they survived isolated for thousands of years marrying in closed groups.

well i can say, it takes only one individual to step outside the village and have sex outside the village, my rational is back in business, because going back long enough, it is a guaranteed that we are related to each other

if you are watching this, you are my brother or my sister, so shut the f up, and tell me where I left my socks last night,

my logic is sound. tell me if there is anything wrong with it, as I sincerely believe Jesus is my grandpa , or at least someone from his family if he did not have any children...i am just saying you know, i don;t want the church to send some spies to kill me to change the world order with this video

Thursday, 30 March 2017

20 worst eyebrows ever

nature has given us eyebrows to avoid sweat in our eyes. but for some of us, nature got it wrong, sweat should be invited to burn the eyes for the horrible eyebrows choice
here are 20 of the worst eyebrows ever

20. the only man in our countdown today, the criminal with message, wrongfully convicted, if you had so much effort to shave your eyebrows and tattoo this message, you are obviously guilty.

19. thank god she is well equipped lower than the eye level so we can have something else to look at rather than the awful eyebrows

18. this looks like the work of a parkinson diseases make up artist, or someone with a lot of shake on the arm, rather than artistic intent....nah...that can't happen to normal people

17. lady gaga wanted a bold statement, looks like someone used a ninja  sword cutting technique and a thin brush....creepy as hell

16. she looks innocent and really introspective,...no girl, you have staffed up, no doubts. Because I sau so, you should listen. go back and do it again

15. i don;t want to be rude, but her eyebrows look like sperm. she is quote but, still sperm is coming to me head

14. you don't have to be beautiful to be my girl, you don't have to have experience to turn me on, but you need decent eyebrows to keep me interested

13. I bet this is the case where the eyebrows gap is the largest in the world. They are so far away apart, it is like starters invented a new type of aliens. creepy ducky lips

12. i would say this was a joke made on purpose, but her face tells me she really meant it to be this way, which is sad cause i see mental issues here

11. well, there you have it people, i did something to me eyebrows and they are beautiful. just like butterflies. I am so cute.

10. the attitude is one of the prison mugshot, she looks like she committed some robbery or some rape or something, really classy by the way.

9. the cutest of the cutest eyebrows, this is how you say I love you in the nuthouse, or you want to creep someone out of the relationship, because baby...you are undatable now with that crap on your face

8. unified eyebrows are the least sign of sexy, yet another star trek alien or something. really creepy folks

7.  another sperm resembling set of eyebrows, this time combined with Cleopatra look, she will defectively be in my next worst make up fails video. sorry girl it was your choice

6. we have seen her before, creepy as hell, undatable, she means to be cute, but the only thing coming to my mind is run, even if I am desperately single

5. great intellectual girl, somehow between the hobbit, the manga, or neo gothic, i imagine having a serious conversation with her about a serious topic, like: the silk worms farming strategies for the next centuries

4. I am trying to figure out is this was a boy or a girl, probably the eyebrows are fake, but who know, maybe they are real.

3. criminal mughsot, she is is genuinely sorry for what she has done, and she probably deserves incarceration for th black of fashion sense. but we salute the originality

2. really difficult to understand what is going on here, confident girl, with talent and piercings, trying to be beautiful and different in a good, way, keep trying cause you are not in the current direction

1. this one is my favourite for today, looks like she is using her brush for eyebrows as well, really sexy, i would like to meet her and ask her out right now.

thanks for watching, question for next time, do you want me to shut up?

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

strangest bike photos ever

some people are using bikes to move, some to have fun, and some difficult to say
here are 20 photos involving bikes that you don't see every day

20. Have you ever heard the expression go f a goat? this guy is actually going to do that wiht his goat girlfriend. such a loving scene, i am almost in tears

19. if you want to move you cow from point a to point B, the back of your tiny bike there is a solution. You just need some wire to make sure the cow is well packed and happy.

18. if you are poor and take your girlfriend on holidays and the luggage has not been invented in your country, no dramas, take the wardrobe with you. problem solved

17. probably this guy tried to break suddenly and the bike stopped at one point. he must have a really pointy head to penetrate the sand like that.

16. if you are lazy and do not wish to walk your baby in a stroll, jump on the bike and make sure you get some speed, because that is the safest way to entertain your baby. 

15. now you probably are having some dirty thoughts right now, me too, rest assured we think alike. get a room would be the appropriate thing to shout at these people. 

14. if you break you leg, there is absolutely no reason to stop you having to commute. has been done before, not even worth talking about it

13. this is one passionate further mucker biker, probably very comfortable with the position and he really wants to attract attention. One thing for sure, checking the watch on his wrist is a no no. i wonder what would happen if people would throw stuff at this guy

12. one of the best optical illusions ever, having a mirror on the bicycle can cause some awesome special effects on the road. i could not think of a better way

11. this guy managed to find the environmentally friendly bike and sometime if he goes downhill he can actually ride it into the sunset. together with the gas bottle. 

10. 2 contractors trying to take a fence to the site, really safe and ingenious. I gotta admire these guys for their courage and persistence. 

9. one passionate about the stiffed cuddly and fluffy giant teddy bear. the helmet is compulsory even for his toy, and hopefully it is only his toy and not something more as the careful attention suggests.

8. 1,2,3,4,5 people on a bike, who could have guessed this is possible. I have not seen more than this, but the world is big so I might have missed it.

7. having a sick bike and an strong girlfriend is already an achievement that not everyone can do. so the only thing i can say, is Respectk man

6. i cannot come up with any smart or supped comments here, there is a guy on a bike transporting pink circles to the market. so ....

5.  another interesting way to take your sheep out on a date, this time bring a friend for a double. 

4. What is actually missing from this image is a third biker, just standing on top of the wooden pole just like the circus. I would have loved to see that. 

3. if you do have long hair and you do not want to squash it inside th helmet, you can create some cute holes and take it out is cessions, just like this hopefully girl here. 

2. I always love to see disproportionate things in the world. like sumo wrestlers with tiny japanese wife, huge body builders with chiwuwuas and this guy with the tiny bike. i find this cutely refreshing

1. the dedication to speed motorcycling should not go leave your spirit at any time, even during the toilet poo poo time, there is an opportunity to take a cool turn.

question for next time. what the hell? sweet and short. leave your comments down below. 

Monday, 27 February 2017

20 Donald Trump tattoos awesomeness combined

Donald Trump the man of the hour will make America Great Again, maybe
but before that
let's have a look at 20 tattoos that people actually choose to put on their skin forever

20. Donald Trump is so awesome people actually tattoo him on them. How much more can you ask. He is like super famous now, better even than Jesus

19. Donald Trump is so awesome, when he was a kid he used to play in concrete when other children played in sand.

18. The rumour has it that Donald Trump can kill 2 stones with one tweet.

17. When Donal Trump enters a room, he does not turn on the light, he turns the dark off and makes America Great Again

16. IF Donald Trump had a dog, and perhaps he has one, the dog will pick up his own shit, because Donald Trump does not take shite from anyone.
by the way, this tattoo is gay.

14. Donal  is so awesome, death had once a newer Trump Experience.

13. if kids can piss their names into the snow, Donald Trump can piss his name into the history and someone did a boo boo job with ink here.

12. There is a rumour that if you stare at the American Flag for 30 seconds, an 3d Image of Donald trump will appear.

11. DonalD trump is so awesome, he can actually delete the recycle bin.

10. what did Donald Trump say to the boy? can i see you birth certificate? what did the boy? tattoo a bad thing on him arm in hate.

9. How does Donald Trump plan to deport 12 million illegal emigrants? juan by juan. get it... joke. ha ha .

8. IF Donald Trump would be the friend of Gay people, wouldn;t someone fix his wig by now?

7. apparently the pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters so Trump cannot tweet them on tweeter

6. apparently bill gates has agreed to pay for Donald Trump wall, with the condition he gets to install windows - ha ha ha geek joke, get it?

5. When Donald Trump gives you the finger, he is actually telling you ho many minutes you have to live.

4. the difference between God and Donald trump is that God does not think he was Donald Tump

3. one of the best tattoos and indigenous chief is cutting Donald's Head off. well, not much I ca comment here, what happens when the next president gets elected? do you delete this tattoo

2. simple Donald Stamp on the back, is another one that you might regret in 4 years time, if not already dead by then by nuclear war i guess

1.  by far the best representation today with talent and perseverance the artist managed to capture the essence of the flavour of the Donald Trump, a sad combination of Donald Duck, Bart Simpson, and a wig, awesome the idea to hash tag the tattoo though, it will definitely show up in google search.

Question for next time, do you think will make it out alive?

Monday, 20 February 2017

20 weirdest creatures using our public transport

public transport is for everyone
regardless race, age, gender, colour
mental status or planet of origin

here are 20 weirdos in our public system

20. i am too old to know the names of these 2 lovely characters from Sesame street, one thing i notice is kermit the frog through reflection. they go to a sesame street convention

19. well, I have seen people reading, kissing, doing make up, texting, sleeping, working and all during commute. why not enjoying a platter of cheese, what is wrong with you...perfectly normal

18. willy wonka and his girlfriend have lost the chocolate manufacturing account due to poor management and reckless spending so they cannot afford a car any longer.

17. spiderman is among us, I think I have seen this guy in a viral video some time ago...he has a youtube channel and he is trying to play the spiderman. it would be good someone to spray some raid see what happens

16. dead pool coming back from work with some groceries, because that is what you do after doing some superhero shite.

15. shaka zulu got himself an iPhone and he is checking the latest voodoo rituals on youtube to update himself with some new way of beheading chicken...variety is the key to stay ahead

14. oh my good, back to Japan...not even the worst cosplay is as wrong as this guy. but you gotta give him thumbs up for the serious look he has and the coolness of the others. that would not happen in my neighbourhood.

13. well spotted mate, captain spock has been fired and he is now retired and blend is with us the rest of the poor human race, clueless there are aliens among us.

12. nothing wrong wth this picture, after a goo night of drinking, and partying even harder, clothes are optional because they just are. I would love to see that in person.

11. wookie here is just going home, and i believe he was a model in a commercial to some kind of insurance or something.....the ladies face next to him is priceless. this can't be real.

10. you would think this is Japan over again...it is not as the spelling is in english. the girl is into tickers, or labels or hold on....these are milk cartoons father muckers....teh dog is awesome though

9. when we say public transport, aliens are included, as they are member of the public, right? nothing wrong here folks...go back home

8. i got no comments for this one and night for the second one. the lady is a talented contortionist and she can text in the same time doing contortionistic things.

7. pokemons are a thing of day to day life, such an appearance would be nothing but ordinary, as everyone is catching them crazy. this guy can be easily caught. someone get him...

6. ahhh...a guy with a mask with nails is pretty awesome, probably feeling special after the common convention or something, worst the effort though

5. very difficult to out this guy into a category or a pigeonhole, bad biker moustache, gangsta coat, with some gay hints, big confusion for me people, lots and lots of mixed messages....above my pay grade.

4. Kuato from total recall has managed to loose the human host, find himself a mother and go to the kindergarten, like any normal kids. nothing wrong with that people.

3. Loving, kissing and having a cheese platter in public transport are common, especially the poor guy in wheelchair has found love, to the other way, the fat chick has found it. or both. they should get a room fast as people are not interested

2. another day in the office for this lovely character, not sure who he, or she is, and what kind of ice-cream, or bird or fantastic character we are looking at.

1. i though the avatar people are slightly bigger, but one thing for sure, he better make sure his pony tale does not get caught in the doors cause he might loose his nipples or something I cannot remember what was the issue with them.

Question for next time, who is this character, please help, I am dying to find out

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

20 japanese mouth watering anime figurines

Today we show few toy dolls
Japanese anime dolls
From a toy store – for adults
Welcome to the wank fest

Did you know that you can buy these dolls in an actual toy store, which is supposed to be for kids but they have an adult section. In japan

I think having these mouth watering figurines, is the result of Japanese male fantasies being kinda of unhappy with the breast size average in japan which is quite low

Any possible anime character, you can find, dolls size, attractive shapes, negligently dressed on purpose, to get your blood pressure high

I am wondering what does the guy who is doing the prototypes thinking. Imagine some sculpting and modelling a tiny boob for few hours…and someone is creating miniature panties

Would we call the Japanese men sexually obsessed as is this just an innocent hobby for the average man collection. What would be the face of the wife when the man brings this at home

Right now I am picturing a huge group of kids, boys mostly, between 14 and 20 years old, with their dicks on their hands, watching anime characters fighting for to save the planet, and fantasizing.

Maybe it is just me with my dirty mind, or maybe I got things wrong, these dolls are just an innocent toy collection, coming from a different place which we do not understand completely. For them is normal.

Life is all about people, and when the best of them are in front of others, and become their leaders, of those people, literally, which are as good as the people in the back, who are watching the front, which we all love and cherish

The one good thing about today is that it is in the present, and tomorrow will come, that is for sure, there is no doubts about that, and it is all about the journey. With the dolls, you know what I am saying

The third and last confusion, about gibberish, Hamish, Swedish, or japanish dolls and mouth waterish, and many things ending in ish, or something

Back to dolls after a quick mind break as the anime characters have successfully distracted me in ths very moment and I went sideways with the comments.

Do you think whoever owns such beautiful toy figurines, would they keep it on display in the living room, bedroom or bathroom. I would keep them in bathroom, it saves time.

Would they have one, or more, because only one becomes boring, and more becomes like a collection, eventually becoming boring as well. I think people should just exchange them , or event rent.

Do you think that someone renting a doll has good or bad intentions and what could possible can happen. It is not like banging the dolls against the wall or yourself, that would be not nice.

Would it be appropriate to make this as a gift to a friend, perhaps married, and perhaps with kids. I reckon it would send messages and create problems in paradise.

Pretty girls with ninja swords are the best combination ever.. It is always very attractive to see an assassin or some ninja or samurai in light lingerie. I reckon it makes the concept of killing more acceptable.

Are you still with me or just on your way to buy one, or google for more or the shower?. Of perhaps completely un-impressed?

Would you classify watching this as adult entertainment or child friendly toy slideshow?

I got to admit, whoever is making these have a high degree of craftsmanship and perfection but If a man buys an anime figurine would this make him a nerd, creep, or just a considerate father.

Are you thinking what I am thinking, she just fell on her ass or is she just waiting for the next phase in the relationship?

just following one of ray William Johnson’s followers, on a scale one to ten how difficutl is to man turbate to anime figurines here?

Saturday, 11 February 2017

20 universal question that remain unanswered

the universe is full of mysteries, there are questions wiht no answers.
here are 20 questions that you need to ask yourself before you die

20. have you ever thought about the reasons why the match head is not on the other side of the match?

19. if someone tells you there are billions os stars in the universe, you will believe them, but why if someone tells you the wall is wet painted, you just have to touch to convince yourself?

18. why doctors calls what they do a practice, i guess should they be good at it by now?

17. does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

16. if the fire fighter fights fire, the crime fighter fights crime, what does the freedom fighter fight?

15. if corn oil comes from corn, olive oil comes from olives, would the baby oil come from babies?

14.  if you are in france, and you order toast do you get french toast or just toast?

13. have you wondered why kamikaze pilots are wearing helmets?

12. if a turtle looses its shell, would it be naked or homeless?

11. why is that when the batteries are wearing out on your remote control, you just push the buttons harder?

10.  why don;t they make the entire plane form the same indestructible material they make the black box?

9. if a cannibal eats a clown, would it taste funny?

8. if you try to fail, and you do fail, have you succeed or failed?

7. why this Hulk's shirt always rip but not his pants?

6. why to banks charge you insufficient funds fee on money that they already know you do not have?

5. why tourists go to top of buildings, pay money to see close up things through telescopes, can they just get close to those things on the ground?

4.  why do people have to wait for a night to call it a day?

3. who do the blind people know they have finished wiping their asses?

2. if we call people from Poland Poles, why don;t we call people from Holand, holes?

1.  no 1 . a question that makes my nights sleepless, why does the pizza comes in a square box?

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

20 evil pranks to piss someone off - awesome, genius, mean and super funny

punching a baby and making an old lady trip is funny shite, if you do not admit it, you are just lying to yourself.
here are 20 awesome pranks for you own selfish entertainment, you bastard SOB.

20. when your boss goes to lunch and forgets to look his computer, it is time to act. go on google, get some porn, print screen and change his screensaver with a juicy adult scene that will definitely bring human resources attention.

19. if you want to see surprise and teach someone a lesson, you can replace the cheerio biscuits cream with toothpaste. guaranteed to entertain...you for sure, them...not so sure

18. if you want to hear few innocent screams and curses in the ladies toilet, just add a small skirt to the little man on the door and...fun is served! ladies and gentlemen. nobody needs to know who

17. if you have a flat mate or a friend which loves coffee from a can, it is time to laugh. remove the content, screw or nail the can to the table, put back the coffee or whatever powder your pal is into, and enjoy the reaction. i have done it, it is funny.

16. now, this one takes a bit of work. you need to replace the chewing gum with some play dough with similar colour, wrap it back in and leave your chewing gum pack in a place that your enemies are likely to pick up a free gum. that would teach the cheap bastards a lesson to get their own gum.

15. another awesome and super funny to see. it takes a bit of effort, and your boss needs to be on holidays for few days. take his keyboard, fill with some cotton and some soil, seeds and water and let the grass grow. make sure you are around when your boss is back to see the reaction

14. masters of marketing, guaranteed to read your message and some, print your add for whatever shit you sell on paper, and on the back , a half of hundred bucks. fold like in the image and enjoy the benefits of a genius campaign

13. you can replace a fancy soap with some fancy cheese and watch your flat mate reaction. guaranteed to bring few laughs I am sure, just for the price of a cheese box.

12. this one needs a bit of work. raw onion dipped in caramel or chocolate, served among apples  in the same thing and now the fun begins. you just gotta play it in such way that the intended target bites

11. watch this one carefully as it takes some practice to pull it off. fill a glass of water, cover with a film, turn it upside down on your boss desk, remove the film and leave. problem solved for you, not for your boss. happy days

10. if you have some nail polish around, you can create a useless masterpiece, the soap that does not wash. you probably can get your flatmate to suffer a little bit for you own fun.

9. here is another one for your boss. get his mouse, and smudge a little oil on the sensor underneath. make sure it is discreet and I promise you his days will be hell, and yours super funny...if you can maintain your cold face and not disclose yourself.

8.  to pull this off it takes one pack of aluminium foil and a couple of hours of perhaps joint effort, but guaranteed fun when the looser comes to work.

7. if you do not get  bonus this year, this is how you can thank the fat chic from human resources. Just image the look on her face. It might take a bit of money though...to buy all those stuffed rats.

6. this is for the connoisseurs of the cooking art. wrap you boss mouse in bacon and cook it in a pan....hopefully you have one. bazinga father mucker

5. this coke and menthos prank require a small degree of craftsmanship and attention to detail. we all know that menthos and coke don't mix well, but they might do it for the purpose of your own fun. do as per the image, use dental floss to keep them apart until the cap is opened.

4. with a bit of effort and mayo, these donuts will be the opposite of delicious, and the faces of your friends, priceless. probably your enemies, because who does that do his friends. I do

3. here is how you get someone like a pro. do not throw away the paper remains from hole punching all those docs. Wait for a rainy day, when your boss brings his umbrella. when the moment is right, fill the closed umbrella with this and make sure you are outside to witness the embarrassment when he drops all that shite in front of the building when umbrella opens for obvious reasons.

2. this is an epic one applicable to all sorts of places, behind doors, under office, chair, and I would say behind the toilet would the best. You just need to make sure you are present, to witness the reaction and i guarantee you will laugh crazy for few minutes...after that is either violence, or job loss. i cannot see this end up well, but it is bloody funny only thinking about it.

1. the best one for today, and the meanest by far, is the toilet wrap with plastic film. make sure you unscrew the light bulb to make sure the light is not strong as this will guarantee the stuff will go everywhere once the victim is starting to let go. you gotta love him to do this to him, or her.

question for next time. obviously which one have you done.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

20 worst piercings ever

if do not want to fly ever in your life here is what you gotta do. be an idiot and get some steel. stainless. here are 20 worst piersings ever

20. you gotta have a great will of power and a large degree of stupidity to join your nipple in celebration with a ring. Something tells me this is just for the show and not permanent

19. the vampire women pops up in doctor dynamite videos here and there. the freak is so freakish, actually the bad piercing are disappearing in the background

18. not sure why the f I am talking about this, a discreet piercing on hands, what is the purpose, only the idiot knows.

17. spectacular tongue zipper, I am wondering if she says ARRRRR , does it sound like a metal zzzzuuuppp

16. i do not need to see his face, his eye shows retardiness already. well done looser, this is for advanced idiots...respect man....

15. this is the poor version and the less fortunate of X-man. if you notice carefully there are scores in case he wants the large version of his claws when he gets into a fight or something. otherwise, a challenge to wipe one's ass.

14. i have lived to see this thing...a piercing in your uvula. you know, sometime uvula is good to talk, so, hanging star from it might stop you from talking...i think this guys does not talk anyway....so what is you problem?

13 just n case you do not understand what you see, he is showing his tongue through another hole, no his mouth. i guess he can french kiss and have a beer in the same time. outstanding brother.

12. this guys seems to be confused about the mets in his face, i am sure it was on purpose. hello...anybody home

11. the calm on this guy's face tells me he is really confident and comfortable with his decision to wear  a ring in his nose. super cool guy like really. makes me want to do chin ups on his ring

10. this must be love, extreme by the way. you just need to figure out how to wash your hands. few challenges awaiting though but one thing for sure, you will never loose it.

9. if you want the blowjob to be awesome on the other side, or you want to sound clingy when you lick the fork that is what you gotta do,,,never feel taste in your moth again...i believe the tongue would agree with me.

8. cute girl with some cute installation on her face, reminds us of a clock insides, maybe she wants to symbolise time, or precision, or intelligence, or perhaps a music box....get it?

7. this old lady is not like the other, she does not want ti impress, she just wants to be beautiful in the village she is coming from.

6.  you might be smiling my friend, but this is not your smile....we get it, you can hook shite on your face. congrats...what do you want or medal ?

5. if you ar not happy with the world, don't want to hear or see bullshite, it is very easy to switch off. saw your eyes and moouth and nothing will get through both ways

4. now, this guys things he is it. I have covered him in a different video. lots and lots of metal, designed to impress and bit the records. well done my friend ...really

3. meet the human face ring. I think he is wants to make sure his face does not slide on snow, or oil, or whatever slipper surface, that is why he needs to have snow chains.

2. another extreme ring usage on the body, masking deep mental problems, looks like a lady, wishing to be single. perhaps the previous guy would match with her, so when they rub against each other they create sparks

1. this lady is the record holder with most piercings ever, a true masterpiece of something, not sure what it is I would call her stupid, but who am I to judge, but I am sure there are others appreciating her. perhaps a threesome with number 2 and 3 would be something I would love to watch

that is it for today, question for next time, how long does it take to get airport security?

Monday, 23 January 2017

10 things you did not know about Japan

  1. Japan has perfected the art of taking a crap. I Japan the seats are warm and there is a little pipe coming out and washes your butt with amazing accuracy. Not a single drop outside, believe e, once we get the use, you will never want to touch your anus with paper again. The toilets are so smart and considerate, they even play music or sounds so whoever is in the next room does not hear the sound of your crap falling in the water or the sound of your farts – heavenly awesome
  2. Japanese are the cleanest people in the world. They have slippers especially for toilet which is considered a dirty area. I forgot once to take them off and got out in the living room, and I cannot describe their faces looking at me like I committed a crime or something
  3. Bathing in Japan is social. Man or women go in the morning or evening in public baths, hot as hell. As a man I tried it once or twice and I barely resisted the urge to stare at Japanese men to  test the theory than Asian man have smaller instruments than Caucasians. Which unfortunately I could not test.. once the embarrassment of staring, and other I was really disappointed not to see much difference. Maybe I have a small instrument myself…cried for a week.
  4. Japanese are crazy about games and gambling. Do you know those grabbing games that you never win? They have a big shop like every 100 meters and they are full of people hoping to get some useless rabbit or some jelly. I don’t get it
  1. Japanese love their toys and some of them are not necessarily for children. They have toy stores which have 18 years plus sections where you can fulfil your dreams with manga characters in miniature and some of them are seriously attractive even for an adult. Like panties, and boos and shite….difficult not to buy and fantasize about cartoon characters that will satisfy your wildest dreams. 
  2. Japan has very small rooms and spaces for people. You can go into a bar which is about the size of my desk. 3 people and the bar keeper, you almost see and can touch the bar keeper nostrils.  Their bars are so small, there is a guarantee death in case of a fire.
  3. The Japanese concept all you can eat restaurant is not really all you can eat.. They will give you 20 different dishes and each of them the size of a fingertip. You can starve after an all you can eat experience which is really disappointing
  4. Japan has mastered the art of the accessories….for example toothpick wallets with mirrors inside. Always wanted to have one of those, just to make sure I take out food left overs from my teeth every time…..just kidding. Also they have the smallest gifts or souvenirs – you can find glass cats about 5 mm in size. really difficult to make a purchase for a 3-5 mm glass dog head. Can’t see the point. 
  5. Japanese have mastered the art of wrapping. From individual wrapped biscuits cooked to perfection to entire museums dedicated to paper wrapping. Wrapping paper can be as rare and expensive as fine art. So you buy wrapping paper to not wrap anything, but to have it as a painting. I am wondering how do you wrap the wrapping paper to make a gift.  You need to open at least 4 wrappign alyers to get to a biscuit…I just want the god dam’ biscuit…why so much work to get the biscuit…I just want to biscuit
  6. Japan has discovered that potato chips are boring, so you can have seaweed chips….a disgusting and dry alternative but hey, who am I to talk. Seaweed chips…seriously