Wednesday, 11 May 2016

20 things women say that man don't get because they are stupid

men are not mind readers. they are simple creatures that believe words coming out women mouths mean exactly that. they are mistaken
here are 20 things women say and man  do not understand, cause they are stupid

20. Do I look fat in this
what she really wants to ask if you believe she is suddenly ugly. do not even thing about saying yes, unless you really hate the bitch and want to be single again.

19. go ahead
do not fall for this. it is not a permission it really means: hey buddy, try it and see what happens sucker...only if you have the guts

18. No
usually really means no. it is a definitely no. don't believe men who say no means a yes. it really means a no. i do not have to repeat myself...no means no, fool!

17. Yes
this is the tricky bit because sometimes it means no, and one needs to be really skilled to read minds to actually figure this out. a strange territory here...i can't give you advice, you are on your own.

16. us she says maybe it is still a no. so get over it and go back to your tree house and build something...

15. it would be nice if you could do something
this is not a wish, it is a command. try not to do it and see how much pain you will get yourself into.

14. when a women says, fine, it means you lost the argument already, so you should shut the fuck up and let it go, she is always right.

13. it is OK, in the women mind means, it is not really Ok, she just need some time to figure out how to punish your ass. don't be fool, get ready for a beating.

12. when a women asks you are you listening, it means you are not and there is not way you can get away with it. no recovery here, just realise you are a looser and learn how to pretend to listen next time.

11. when a woman says, it is up to you, you might believe you have free will to choose. but in fact it is a test to see that  you know what she already knows, but let's you fail so she could tell you: I told you so. dangerous zone here folks

10. 5 minutes darling means 40 minutes in make up time, but if you turn on the TV, it becomes what the hell are you doing instead of helping me doing something  useful.

9. when a women says thanks, she means thanks, and you should say you are welcome. when she says thanks a lot, it has the opposite meaning, and you should run cause you just fucked up big time.

8. we can go anywhere you want, really means that the restaurant needs to be 5 stars you cheap ass bastard.

7. what are you doing question. means you are already doing it wrong and you should listen to her how to do it. especially in bed...watch out

6. do you have to do this right now, means stop your ass right now and get back into the house to help her do the dishes you lazy bastard.

5. you have to learn to communicate means that you gotta start agreeing with her because sooner or later you are in trouble my friend. this is just a warning for what is coming.

4. when a women says, I am not upset, she is upset. flower, chocolate, and begging for forgiveness on your knees with a guitar in your hand might save you... or kill you completely.

3. the a woman says we need, she really means she wants and you obey.

2. I do not want to talk about it, she wants you to get out as she is gathering evidence against your ass and you are already in trouble.

1. when a women says we need to talk, you are already dead. I hope you have a will or a lawyer friend cause you are TOASTED my friend.